How Talking About Trauma Keeps You Stuck

Some individuals have been in therapy for months, years, decades even. They’ve lived with trauma for years.

Not because they want to, but because what they’re trying isn’t working. Or maybe they helped for a bit, then stopped. That doesn’t mean they’re broken. It usually means the approach didn’t go deep enough or missed what their nervous system actually needed.

Here’s the thing.

Time does not heal ALL wounds. Time makes trauma more complex.

Talking doesn’t work because talking revivifies trauma, it makes you re-experience the trauma. This is an iatrogenic effect of talking about trauma, what you’re doing to try to fix it, unintentionally makes it worse.

What Is Trauma And How Does It Affect The Body

Trauma changes how the brain and body react. It keeps people stuck in patterns. You might feel anxious, hopeless, or triggered AF.

Other times it feels like being numb, intensely angry.

Trying to talk through this might not be working.

Who said you had to remember to recover?

No one, really.

Why Traditional Talk Therapy Isn’t Always Enough

Talking helps some people wit some problems. But talking about the trauma over and over just keeps the nervous system in stress mode, and locks it into your procedural memory.

If you’ve been in therapy for years with little change, it doesn’t mean something is wrong with you. It means that verbal pathways might not actually lead to where you want to be.

Accelerated Trauma Therapy Is Possible

Observed and Experiential Integration (OEI) trauma therapy is based on neuroscience and uses visual pathways to integrate trauma. OEI uses eye movement, body awareness to help the brain shift out of the trauma response.

You don’t have to talk about personal, painful details of what happened. Your brain can use visual pathways to put the past in the past (not verbal)

How To Know If You’re Still Carrying Trauma

If you feel stuck, numb, overreactive, tired all the time, or disconnected from yourself or others, those can be signs of unresolved trauma.

You might be hyper-independent or feel like you can’t find the motivation or willpower to do the simplest tasks.

Trauma shows up in subtle signs. The trauma is still there, even though lots of time has passed.

But it doesn’t mean that it’s permanent. It just means you might need to try something different.

Something that works with trauma.

What To Do If You’ve Tried Everything But Nothing Seems to Be Working

If nothing seems to be working, it’s not your fault.

When my intuition showed me that my ex was cheating, with receipts, I went to talk therapy 3x a week. After I got over my shame, I talked to friends, family, anyone who would listen. It was helping. I was reinforcing the experience in my brain so when I tried to date, I thought everyone was lying to me.

The verbal pathways didn’t lead to recovery.

I realized that logic can’t fix emotions.

Visual Pathways to Trauma Recovery

There are other ways that are often faster, more effective, and less overwhelming than talking about your trauma, like with traditional talk therapy and EMDR.

OEI therapy works with the way trauma is stored in your brain and body. Observed and Experiential Integration allows you to gently release the trauma without talking about the details of your past.

Instead you can start to be present in the here and now without the past dominating it so you can create a safe environment to finally shift and get unstuck.